Being emotionally needy in a relationship is not a problem unless your behavior becomes toxic. At the start of a relationship called the honeymoon phase, this can be acceptable to a certain extent. In this phase everything seems cool, rosy and dreamy.
But as the days go by, this dependent and needy behavior can start to affect your relationship. If you recognize this needy behavior and don’t know what to do to stop it, this article might help you.
Read on to learn more about how to deal with this type of feeling and what you can do on your own to combat this behavior. Scroll down to learn more about feeling emotional neediness.
1. You lose your identity and self-confidence
Spending time with your significant other shouldn’t be your only priority. If you constantly give up the other important aspects of your life just to spend time with your partner, you may lose your self-esteem and you may succumb to low self-esteem. The urge to be with your partner might be so strong that you spend a disproportionate amount of time with them trying to please them even when they don’t feel like it.
2. You text your partner all the time
If you think you should be constantly texting your partner to check on them or share hourly updates, that’s a problem. Even if you keep asking her about her day or asking her whereabouts, it is a sign of an unhealthy and extremely demanding relationship. This constant attention-grabbing behavior indicates a lack of codependent attachment.
3. Your friends know way too much about your partner
Constantly thinking or talking about your partner, even when you are physically distant, is another sign of neediness. If you’re constantly talking about it with your friends or family, that’s a sign to look out for. You need to use the time away from your partner to live your own life, do what you want, make new friends, take care of yourself, and pursue your hobbies. If your friends say you’re becoming increasingly preoccupied with your partner and advise you to keep a safe and healthy distance, take note.
4. You begin to have unrealistic expectations of your partner
Because your whole world revolves around them and you associate your confidence with them, you expect your partner to do everything right. You expect your partner to read your mind and understand all your feelings. When these unrealistic expectations are not met, you are extremely disappointed and may attack your partner. This negative communication can create a rift between you and your partner and affect your relationship.
5. You follow your partner on social media
The moment you start relying on social media to know your partner’s whereabouts, you begin to jeopardize the trust that every relationship is built on. If you’re jealous of the photo your partner posted online with a friend of the opposite sex, that’s a cause for concern.
6. You share too many details on social media
It’s okay to use social media to update your close friends and family about your love life. But when you start sharing intimate and personal details of your relationship online, it shows your insecurities and pent-up feelings. If you believe in yourself and your partner, you must practice seeking validation from the outside world.
7. You consciously or unconsciously try to change your partner
This notion of the perfect life partner is an overly romanticized notion often sold in romantic comedies. What happens on screen is often not possible off screen. If you have set certain strict criteria in relation to your partner, it is a sign that you are controlling, possessive, needy and demanding in your relationship. Your partner is under no obligation to meet all of your desires and expectations at all times. Excessive dominance can result in the other suffocating and becoming brutally entangled in the relationship. Even a simple act of trying to change the way you dress can be unfair to your partner and damaging to your relationship.
Conclusion
To overcome neediness in a relationship, focus on maintaining your own identity, giving your partner space, setting realistic expectations, and avoiding over-reliance on social media or seeking validation from others. Work to build a healthy and balanced connection with your partner, based on trust, respect, and mutual support. Remember that a strong and secure relationship is built on individual growth and genuine affection for one another.
